#636. Playing fantasy football for money.

(As we speak, I’m hanging out with Bryan Allain at the Catalyst Conference and bemoaning the fact that he’s pushed my “funniest person” ranking down a notch. He’s funnier than me. Regularly and consistently. And today, that is exactly what he brings. Here is his latest guest post on Stuff Christians Like.)

Playing Fantasy Football for MoneyA few weeks ago I joined eleven fellow churchgoers in my brother-in-law’s basement for 2 hours of drafting fake teams made up of real players. Some call it, “The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Heard Of”. We call it “Fantasy Football”. For the third year in a row, one of the new guys approached me and sheepishly asked:

New Guy: “So, um, are we playing for fun, or are we…playing for a little, um, money?”Me:

“Yeah, we each put in $20.”

New Guy: “Good, it’s always more fun when there’s a few bones on the line.” (At which point I would immediately kick him out of the house. Anyone who refers to money as “bones” should be banned for life from your fantasy league on principle alone.)

The topic of gambling is a HUGE can of worms among Christians, and I’d be lying if I said part of me doesn’t want to leave that can unopened on the shelf next to the bottled water and the rest of the Y3K preparedness kit. The truth is, some of you reading this are completely against gambling in all forms, and are already giving me dirty looks through your screens (I can feel them). Others of you passionately love gambling and have already placed prop bets in Vegas on how many comments this post will get (Vegas currently has the under/over set at 32.5).

There are Christians on all sides of this issue, and while many of them know exactly where they stand on gambling, not everyone is sure where they should draw the line when it comes to risking their hard-earned money (which technically belongs to God anyway, right?). Can I buy a $5 powerball ticket and still go to heaven? Can I take communion on Sunday if I wagered twenty bucks on my golf round yesterday? Is it true that NCAA Bracket Pools were created by demons who had grown tired of waiting around for Armageddon?

I can’t answer those questions for you. But what I can do is give you a list of guidelines to help you figure out whether or not you should play fantasy sports for money. Bet you $5 it helps you out.

SHOULD I PLAY FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR MONEY?

If you’ve always wanted to be a part of the NFL and this brings you closer to the game, then go for it.
If you currently play, coach, or referee in the game, then maybe not.

If your league’s $20 entry fee means skipping a movie or dinner out for a month, then go for it.
If your league’s $2,000 entry fee means skipping a mortgage payment and tithe check for a month, then maybe not.

If no one else in your league has ever watched a football game before, then go for it.
If you’ve never watched a football game before, then maybe not.

If you found $50 in your Bible on the way to the draft, then go for it.
If you stole that Bible from someone at church to sell on eBay, then maybe not.

If you’re excited about the fellowship you’ll get from interacting with other owners during the season, then go for it.
If you’re excited about colluding with other owners to cheat your way to a tainted championship, then maybe not.

If you’re favorite Bible passage is “the love of money is the root of all evil”, then go for it.
If you’re favorite Bible passage is “then they cast lots for Jesus’ garments”, then maybe not.

If the thought of it reminds you of when you used to make friendly wagers on games with your dad or your kids, then go for it.
If the thought of it reminds you of when you used to steal from the offering plate to pay your bookie, then maybe not.

If you plan on donating all your winnings to the Church’s prison ministry, then go for it.
If you are currently a part of the Church’s prison ministry because you’re incarcerated, then maybe not.

and finally,

If you heard an audible voice from heaven say, “Hey! This is God. Don’t gamble.” then maybe not…but…If you heard an audible voice from heaven say, “Hey! This is God. Let it Ride!”, then hey…Let it Ride!

So what are your thoughts on friendly wagers, Fantasy Football, and waking up in Vegas?
Let ’em ride in the comments…

PS…for daily doses of Bryan’s nonsense, check out his blog and his Twitter Feed.